Womanspeak

I AM EVERY WOMAN…

Words Shyla Bhagwagar

When you tell a girl she isn’t like the others, you’re basically dissing other women.

…AND YOU’RE JUST LIKE THE OTHER GUYS

Deal with it. Here are a list of compliments that are sure to actually ruin your first date. ‘I like women who can take a joke…’ (Seriously? Can you?). ‘You’re really funny for a woman…’ (Umm. Men have the cornerstone on the funnies, do they?). Or worse, ‘you’re not like the other women.’ (You were perhaps expecting a Stepford woman, yes?). But really, if you use one of these and it doesn’t ruin your dinner, write to me. I will personally make sure I come and do it, instead. Do you want a side of gasoline with that steak? Allow me to tell you something your parents should have told you a very long time ago.

You are not special. No, neither am I. #NewsflashAlert: no one’s special. That woman of your dreams? She doesn’t exist. As a matter of fact, she is just like every other woman and you, sweetheart, stand out as much as an apple stands out in a basket of apples. While we’re at it — life is a lie, love doesn’t exist and we’re all going to die. But let’s leave that for later. When you tell a girl she isn’t like the others, you’re basically dissing other women. It roughly translates to: ‘All women are rubbish but you stand out’. We may not always show it but here’s another news bulletin for you: We actually like our kind. Very much. So when you say it, basically, we turn into fire-throwing feminist dragons that want you to now bleed… while we watch the carnage in our womanly glory. And from there on you can do nothing to stop this disaster, we start to feel like we’re going to go home with Harvey Weinstein himself. (What? Too soon?) You become a walking talking version of everything wrong with society and it’s perception of women and the male gaze. No pressure

SO JUST DON’T, NA?

Be nice, tell her you like the way she smiles. Contrary to popular belief, women also want a date to have a happy ending. We’re not having a drink with you to go meet your parents and dog. We’re on the same page; just don’t drop a stupid sexist compliment and set the entire book on fire.

    

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *